Art is My Solace

Today, while painting (of course) my mind wandered to what art is to me.  This came to mind:  "Art is my solace."

See, I discovered art some time ago when I was going through a lot of changes as a person.  It was that time we all go through, hopefully for a lifetime since it should all be a journey, where we are figuring out who we really are and who we hope to become more and more each day.  At that point in my life I was starting to outgrow things.  I was in a relationship that no longer served me.  I felt stuck in a life cocoon I was terrified of busting out of, but knew if I stayed in it I would surely suffocate.  It was the scariest fear I have ever faced head on (besides my freeway car accident a year ago which was similarly terrifying in some senses).  I absolutely did not know how I was going to survive all the changes in my life, but with some encouragement and a feeling of "what's the worst that can happen?" I did face them.  And art held my hand the whole way.

Art had become for me more than just a hobby or pastime.  My discovery that I could actually do it...draw and paint with some measure of success and gratification...was at first as amazing to me as it was to everyone else.  Who knew?  I sure didn't.  Not through high school or even college.  It wasn't until shortly after that I picked up a paintbrush and just kind of started to go with it.  After that I wished more than anything I had studied art all through high school and college but I'm also kind of a big believer that we figure things out when we're supposed to...everything in its time.

So I found art.  This discovery was like opening a whole new world for me, to sound cliche.  *Cue singing of Aladin and Jasmine here*  But that's seriously what it was like for me.  The Heavens opened and I found a joy I hadn't really known at this point in life.  For more cliches, it was the best of times and the worst of times.  I had found my 'it', the thing in the world that could make me the happiest.  At the same time I was stuck in a lifestyle in which I was feeling terribly stagnant and unhappy.  Every time I picked up a pencil or paint brush I grew a little braver though.  Art became like a bridge for me.  As I learned new techniques and tried new subjects in drawing and painting I became a little braver and stronger in myself and learned a little more about who I was.  Eventually I busted out of that cocoon like a bad habit and spread my wings fully, even with fear making the very core of me tremble.  The feeling reminds me of this Anais Nin quote:

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."  -Anais Nin

Since then I have found a life I never imagined possible.  It might seem mundane to some.  I do spend a lot of time inside, painting, but with the windows open as much as possible so I can breathe the outdoors.  Every day is filled with new images in my mind that I seek to capture on canvas, new techniques I am aching to try.  And on those days when I feel kind of down or not as alive as I would like, I force myself to pick up my paintbrush anyway.  And art enfolds me in its wings and somehow makes everything better again.  Art my joy, my solace, my comfort, my friend...is always there for me, rain or shine.

Here is a recent interview I did for the Living Awesomely blog in which I talk about art, love, and life a little more:  http://living-awesomely.com/amber-elizabeth-on-love-and-art/

And a few recent paintings I've been working on:

Blue Morpho Crescendo

Dancing With Sunbeams

Winter's Reflection

I Love You in Red